Don't try this at home!

2011-12-09T17:16:00.002Z

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)

Numb - Linkin Park

So i have Tonsillitis again... Last time i had this i was about 17 and living at home with that poor excuse of a mother. Amoxicillin tablets, Anti-depressants... ugh... always takin' tablets... At least i can sorta swallow now, and kinda talk. But i'm so sleepy, i can't breath at night, i'm not sleeping, i feel like i have a head fula cotton wool and i am like... dying....

So.. things are kinda annoying me lately. I'm seeing stuff that is upsetting me and i dunno why... I'm trying to talk to my friends about it but i can't seem to say anything in the right way and end up making people mad or upsetting them or just.. generally sounding like a total dork... so i think i'm just gonna... sit on my problems and try and deal with it myself. These two people mean a hell of a lot to me and the last thing i want to do is to come across like... ugh.... i feel like since i started talking to them i've ruined everything... make things... -head/desk- N.. never mind... so.. yeah... Sick, tablets, sleepy, bed, depression.... Usual!

2011-11-29T19:28:00.002Z

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream.
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean.
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright.
So I'm breaking the habit,
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight

Breaking the Habit - Linkin Park

So i wanted to post some long winded post about why i'm so fucked up and stuff that goes on in my head and all that shit... but to be honest there really is no point. I seriously have gotten to the stage now where i just... I want to say i'm at the point where i couldn't give two shits but i'm sat here worrying about what others will think about me.. which is stupid because no one ever gives a shit about what i think...

And i know there are going to be people who say they care.. and that "How can you say that" and "That's not fair you know i ....." etc etc, but unless you know exactly how i feel you're not going to understand. You guys are great and all, but... >.< It's not... It's not a long term solution to a major problem.... It's just... you guys are just..helping... not... curing... if that makes sense...

See, this is the part where everyone thinks i'm being a complete fuck and start to hate me and bitch and moan and call me two faced and... Ugh... think what you will... I just.... What ever...

2011-11-28T22:08:00.002Z

Cold and frosty morning there's not a lot to say
About the things caught in my mind
And as the day was dawning my plane flew away
With all the things caught in my mind

Oasis - Don't Go Away.

So since my last update it's been... god... ages. William and Nathan are 4 and 2, William is in school... things went from bad to worse to good to okay... and now i just feel... worse again. I feel awful, because i can relate to a friends problems but i feel that if i try to talk about how i feel i'm almost... copying them or... using their bravery as an excuse to.. i dunno... latch onto the understanding they are getting from others... but seeing him be so brave and coming out and /saying/ all that stuff makes me want to sort myself out more....

Anyway, so i'm... I'm RPing again (Role playing) And it's been sorta helping... I've made friends and had a laugh, but you know.. with that comes the darker evil side of people being arses. Some nights i come off happy but some nights have had me in tears... I guess it comes with the territory...

I'm not sure what this post was hoping to achieve... i'm hoping to use this blog again to express my depression, anxiety and all that shit. Both as Kattrina and as Jo. More on that later.

2009-04-02T12:23:00.002Z

Corrupt
You're corrupt
Bring corruption to all that you touch
Hold
You behold
And beholden for all that you've done
And spin
Cast a spell
Cast a spell on the country you run
And risk
You will risk
You will risk all their lives and their souls
Take a bow - Muse

I know it's been ages since i last added anything to this blog, but i wanted to post the picture above so you could see my new lil baby ^_^
I had my 20 week scan yesterday, and althought he baby had it's legs up over it's tummy and it's feet tucked under it's bottom (preventing the sight of gender) it's healthy, growing fine and wiggling around alot inside me V_V

Other than that not much has been happening. just midwife appointments and taking care of William... he's 2 on the 18th and we're taking him to Woburn Safari park ^_^

And that really really is all ^_^

2009-01-06T18:43:00.003Z

Baby, season change but people don't

And i'll always be waiting in the back room,

I'm boring but overcompensate,

With Headlines and Flash Flash Flash photography.

Take over, The breaks over - Fallout Boy

Ladies and Gentlemen.... after a long long long long long (you get the drift) time i'm back, and having another sproglett XD

According to my midwife i am 9 weeks gone, and i have another appointment next wednesday. Unfortunatly it's not at my local doctors, since she's overbooked so i have to go to thorplands sure start center and wait for me number to be called. ¬_¬ Oh well...

William is 20 months old now and is growing fast. He's already got to the stage in his toddler-hood where you say no and he starts with the crocadile tears. And if you continue to ignore him or tell him no he'll throw himself on the sofa like an actor and pretend to cry more. Then he tries to sit on your lap and look at you as if to say "but i'm you're lil baby boy... love meeee"

Oh well, kris and i will just have to be strong and not give in.

So keep your eyes peeled, i'll be updating more as i go along. Info about appoinments, and baby stuff... and even how William takes to being a big brother to his lil brother or sister. ^_^

Oyasumi. ~X~

2008-09-19T15:42:00.002Z

We the people fight for our existence.

We don't claim to be perfect, But we're free.

We dream our dreams alone With no resistance,

Fading like the stars we wish to be.

Oasis - Little by little.

OMG... it's been like... 4 months nearly and i've not posted... i'm sorry. V_V

So william is walking and almost talking, making noises that SOUND like Look, and doggie and dad and mum mum... It's so cute. I will be ringing a friend of mine to check if we can come over and visit cause i'm sure she'd love to see William as he grows up. OH and my friend is back from Columbia and i'd love to see how everything went ^^

Not alot is going on here at home... I'm planning the expo in october... staying for two nights again. I'm not planning on buying that much this time, unless i see a particularly awesome pushie of doom *wonders if anyone made a reno from final fantasy VII*

There really isn't much to tell... William is growing fast and is just... adorable. that's it really. lol.

2008-06-23T15:46:00.002Z

As conspiracies unwind,

Will you slam shut,

Or free your mind,

or stay hypnotised.

Exo - Politics: Muse

It's been a long time comin' as the song says, but William is now... how should i put this... wobbling his way round the sitting room. Several very wobbly and excited steps have been taken in the past two days... *sighs* my little boy is growing up. *chuckles*

My dad is having a 10th anniversary do on the 5th, meaning William and 40% of his possestions shall be bundled into the car and carted down to sumerset. It sounds like it may be a good party, of course we are traveling down on the friday and coming home on the sunday *easier on Will.*

Other than that there realy is nothing to tell. Kris and i are well, life goes on as it always has. We're in talks about me going back to work, but at the moment it's not needed, which means i can spend more time taking care of the lil man.

I should be making dinner, so on that note i'm off to feed my other baby *laughs*

Sayonara.

2008-05-28T16:41:00.002Z

Listen to each drop of rain (listen listen)
whispering secrets in vain, (listen listen)
Frantically searching for someone to hear
their story before they hit ground.

Ragh! OMG i haven't posted in ages. Well, William's birthday came and went more or less without hitch, and i went away to london last weekend.

I had a GREAT time in london with Anime Leauge. It was Expo weekend and they were all a great laugh. I got to meet a lot of awsome people and had a blast of a weekend. It was nice to get a mini holiday and it was certainly an experiance i shall NOT forget anytime soon.

It's coming up to my dad and rachaels 10th wedding anniversary, and i've asked kris to try and get the time off (if he hasn't already) of course i shall keep a FIRM eye on William near the swiming pool. I dunno what i'd do if he got hurt, since they are having a hawaiian style party.

That last sentance made no sence... oh well. ^_^ Got a post card of my brother and Hannah, apparently they are in turkey... *laughs* lucky.
Well, i'm eatting dinner... so i'm leaving it here. ^_^

Sayonara

2008-04-14T21:23:00.008Z

T'is your delight sir, catching fire
from one man to the next.
T'is true sir, love can still inspire,
the blood to pump the heartly pire.
what more, what more can man require but love sir.
Pretty women - Sweeney Todd.

OMG, OMG, OMG... It's april the 14th already and i haven't even CONSIDERED the cake yet. Mum's brirthday was sunday and she went to see Man united play at old trafford... So she's not shut up about that all day. V_V

William is as chatty as ever, no surprise with me as him mum ^_^. He's started saying J's... I cought him saying "jim jim jim" of course it could have just been "jmmm Jmmm Jmmm" but who cares, it sounded rigth! ^_^

Grandad will be down on the saterday, he's staying at my mums on the friday so she's anoyed about that. I've made it clear i don;t want him over till saterday. There is only so much i can take of that man...and i can say that here cause i'm NEVER going to tell him this blog exists... *dances*

OMG OMG OMG again... May is getting ever closer... and there are soo many people i'm looking forward to meeting... *blushes* i've been getting on well with some one of the guys on Anime leage and i'm not as scared about going as i was before. I know it'll be fun and, if all else fails i know at least one or two people i can hide behind.

Sam has gone to Columbia... lucky chicken... I hope you're having a blast my love... we all love and miss you... i need to arrange another visit to see dawn... The little man is ever so different now and, well, Sam's family have always been special to me... soo.... *blushes* I talk to Jon alot on MSN, though, sad to say normally two hours later i'm going to bed (he doesn't stay up too late dawn, i promise. dont go telling him off... *laughs*)

well... i better go... just thougth i'd update quickly while i remember...

Love to you all....

Sayonara!

2008-03-28T23:35:00.002Z

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I’ve become

Evanescence - Bring me to life

Well, i've just finished getting all the bugs outta my laptop (some... very rude wrod hacked my laptop and placed a virus in it. needless to say i was not pleased.)
It's nearly that time. yep, next month William will be a year old. ^_^

Kris and i are so happy... but the down side is he is doing a night shift friday, saturday and sunday, so he'll be sleeping on the day i planned a birthday party. I had planned on just ing out for the day with my mum and grandad since he's already invited and, dad and Tim can't make it.. so... I'll leave kris to sleep and we could do something... i'm sure Jan and laurence will undertand? *shrugs*

William is chatting away like mad these days... 'dada', 'baba', 'Jaja' (which i think is Jimmeh..i've been talking to an old friend of mine on the net and i've been telling kris and william alot about them. lol...) and he's even able to sit up un-attenteded. He's growing so fast, i still rememr that tiny little bundle that was handed to me, those gorgeous eyes staring back at me from that blanket. *sniff* Ok, i am SO not gonna cry. V_V

Well, it's late, and i am tired. plus there is no guarante that he'll slep threw tonight... V_V bless him.

TTTFN - Ta ta for now!

2008-03-12T14:24:00.003Z

Spend all your time waiting for that second chance

For the break that will make it ok

There's always some reason to feel not good enough

And it's hard at the end of the day

I need some distraction, oh beautiful release

Memories seep from my veins

They may be empty and weightless,

And maybe I'll find some peace tonight

Sarah McLachlan - Arms of the Angels

Life has been kinda up and down since i last posted. William got ill, then i got ill, then kris got ill... it was an ill month.. lol

I've been listening to a lot of old music. Tracy chapman, Bob Marley, Guns N Roses... The music i grew up with... nothing really has happend... i've been making alot of good friends on anime league and keeping in touch with my friends on the Risembool Rangers website.

There are a good number of meets planned and i;m saving like a squrral to try and go to them (one in april, two in may, one in october and one in september V_V) but obviously moeny is not the only concern... *has idea* Baby for sale? (joke)

Well, dinner is ready and i have to change wills nappy.. so just a quick one to say all is well and stuff.... so yeah...

Laters *waves*

2008-02-22T14:09:00.003Z

In you and I there's a new land

Angel's in flight

My sanctuary, my sanctuary, yeah

Where fears and lies melt away

Music inside

What's left of me what's left of me now

Sanctuary - Utada Hikaru

Well, i said life was boring but i was wrong. William has a sore throat and a cold and ahs been waking up groggy in the middle of the nigth. We've been giving him calprofen before bed and gave him some this morning. it certainly made him a lively little man, he's crawling all over the sofa at he moment so i'm half typing half... checking on him.. XD

There is so much rubbish on TV these days. Like late at night. I don't have time to watch it during the day. Sorry about that, just had william trying to use me to climb the sofa...lol

I've been trying to save money for the expo in may. I've made somenew friend son a forum called Anime League.net and there are a good number of poeple who i can't wait to meet and can't wait to meet me XD

At else? Oh yeah... i'm 24 in seven days time ^_^ this time next friday i should hopefull be either at woburn safari park or tycross zoo... maybe i can leave William in the monkey cage. ^_^ or take home a tiger cub. XD ahhh, i'd love a tiger. ^_~

N e who, i'm off to play with my son some more.. i just caught him eating a lazer pen... lol... He had the biggest smuggest look on his face when i asked him for it, and keeps asking for his 'dada'

Sayonara.

2008-02-12T19:12:00.000Z

Roy Mustang: When I'm Führer, there will be changes! That day...*strikes dramatic pose* all female officers will be required to wear - TINY MINISKIRTS!

Jean Havoc: YOU'RE A MIRACLE, MUSTANG! (hugs Mustang's leg) I'LL FOLLOW YOU FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!

Roy Mustang: Yes! (while posing)
Hawkeye: ... (walks away with bemused look)

Flame V's Fullmetal - Fullmetal Alchemist.

It's been awhile, i know. But my son has now taken to falling asleep in my arms or on the sofa, being moved to his bed and then waking up and screaming till he falls asleep. I feel awful for leaving him screaming upstairs, but i have no other choice.

He's also taken to waking up half way threw the night for a nappy change and then staying awake for another two hours, despite the fact he's as tired as we are... *sigh* It doesn't help that i have trouble getting to sleep anyway.

We have a doctors check up on wednesday (which i suppose would be tomorrow... Duh!) It's supposed to be an 8 month check up, but obviously the doctors can't count, since William will be ten months old on the 18th. To be fair, nothing has really happened. William is able to crawl around, he's climbing on things, 'cruising' (using furniture to move around the room) and is reaching for things to chew. I wouldn't mind, except he's been trying to chew the wires on my laptop and has been pulling out the power cables while i'm typing.

Well, that's about all that's been happening... my world is becoming pretty boring now... lol

ciao for now!

^_^

2008-01-24T18:24:00.000Z

Come to bed, don't make me sleep alone.
Couldn't hide the emptiness, you let it show.
Never wanted it to be so cold.
Just didn't drink enough to say you love me.
Lithium - Evanesence

Well, it's been a while. My little man, bless his heart, has been doing really well on the wheening, but one of hte foods we've tried him on (a mixed fruit breakfast) has given him an alregic rash.
I have a feeling it's either the pear of the apricot. The nurse also advised me not feeding him his fruit yogurts too, so once he;s had the last one i'll buy no more.

He's not stopped eating, he's still as wriggly as ever and he's not got a fever, so it hasn't affected him in that way. I had a horrible feeling that it might have been chicken pox, but luckyl it wasn't.
He's still teething and has had the odd broken nigth of sleep, but it's nothing Kris and i cannot handle.

I'm off to make dinner and play with ym little guy. He's just woken from a sleep and is crying. V_V
Till next time!

2008-01-02T20:45:00.000Z

He's got them hips like sugar canes
good things come from boys who wait
He's my one stop shop
with a real big *sigh*
He's a sweet talkin, sugar coated
Candy man!
Candy Man: Christiana Aguilera

Ok, first and foremost, i've had my nails done so my typing might be a bit off. I shall try to check my spelling as i go, but i can't promise anything.

I knwo i've been gone a long while, but christmas just got closer and closer and before i knew it i had neglected my blog. so here i am, in 2008... yeah. ^_^
Christmas day was ok. Kris was on a night shift the night before, so when he got hoem at 7 inthe morning, william and i woke up to open the 7 presents we had here and then he went to bed and William and i went to his mum's house.

New years eve i was feeling a bit off so we were in bed by 11, adn woken u at midnight by the fireworks and the phone calls. It was really quite boring to be honest, but i already have a lot planned for 2008. It's my 24th birthday on the 29th febuary. I don have anything big planned, but time will tell if i do something special. May is a big month for me, since the fan group i'm part ofhave let me plan the expo in London. It will be a weekend thing, most of us turning up early afternoon on the friday.

William was weighed on boxing day, he is now 19 pound 8. He's chirping, dribbling and has two gorgeous little teeth in the front of his mouth on his bottom gum. We did unfortunaty, have a misshap last nigth where Kris was moving the chiar and scrapped some of the skin off two of williams toes. but after a long cry, a mummy hug and a kiss from his nana Jan he was asleep and out like a light for the evening.

I better go, the young master quite tired and ready for his last feed.

Sayonara!

2007-11-04T19:11:00.000Z

Darth Vader: I sense something; a presence I've not felt since...

And then he just walks away! I mean, at least finish your sentance!
Over the next (well, four now) sundays, they are playing the Star Wars Movies on ITV. I couldn;t be happier. Though i have to admit i'd rather they were the original originals instead of the digitally re-mastered originals, but what you gonna do?

yep, i'm back. I was gone awhile (mainly because i'm a lazy S.O.B but also because i've been to a convention and i've been ill) I'm back at the hospital tomorrow for the jaw guard that should stop me from grinding my teeth, not that i think i do or that it will help, but go figure! I was supposed to be sorting something out for tuesday but i forgot to ring hte person and now it's to late and porbably too short notice so *shurgs* whatever.

William is getting massive. He's not great with the solid foods at the moment, but we're in no rush. He's currently attacking his blanket while wriggling and squeeling in his basket. I think he might be a bit worried by the fireworks, but he's not made any sign that they are specifically distubring him!

Got a family gathering next sunday (so i'll miss star wars *sulks*) at my aunt Adele's house. It's my cousin Laurens 17(?) birthday and It's going to be me, Mum, William, Grandad (fun) and adele's lot. kris is working an afternoon, so he can't tag along. I'm looking forwards to going down, but not looking forwards to seeing grandad. He has ways of lowering everyones mood.

Well, i think that's everything. not much happens in cassa del Cadd. Is that right? ah, who cares.

So, till the next time, whenever that may be!
Sayonara!

2007-10-08T10:36:00.000Z

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me, and be less like you
Numb - Linkin Park

Tired and in pain i sit here, thinking about what i should have done.
knowing that the pulsing in my jaw would keep me awake i stupidly took the doctors advice of a 'soft food diet' and pop the pain killers like some kind of drug addict. The days are hard, but the nights are harder as i struggle to sleep longer than 2 - 4 hour intervals, waking to throbbing and the need of paracetamol.

William has noticed a change in me. Both of us are lerthargic, quiet and starting to worry Kris. I have another trip to the hospital on Thursday, they think i grind my teeth and are supplying me a tooth guard. I shall tell them that i cannot stand the pain anymore and i need something to be done, even if that means an operation on my jaw.

If i could just close my eyes and get some sleep, then maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

2007-09-21T11:53:00.000Z

I cried to my daddy on the telephone, how long now?
Until the clouds unroll and you come home, the line went.
But the shadows still remain since your descent, your descent.

The saints are coming, the saints are coming.
I say no matter how I try, I realise there's no reply.
The saints are coming, the saints are coming.
I say no matter how I try, I realise there's no reply.
U2 and Green day - The Saints Are Coming

Well, news from the Cadd household is as follows. The small one is more or less rolling over. (He gets close, doesn't know what to do next and rolls back.) eh's also sitting upright more or less without support (he has the odd wobble, but he's very strong) and is able to stand up (with assistance)

He's growing up so fast. Can you believe five months and 3 days ago i had this little bundle handed to me with such big eyes, now he's sat in his bouncy chair beside me chirping away and eating his foot. (i wish i could still get my foot into my mouth, well, not really but you know what i mean)

And it feels like we've never been without him. Like he's always been there in the house somewhere. Even Kris was saying he couldn't remember what it was like without Will in the house. Which is weird because, really, nothing has changed. It just feels, natural?

2007-09-10T09:51:00.000Z

Woke up with yawn, it's dawn and
I'm still alive
Turned on my radio to start a new day
Let's get them DJs chatting,
hard to survive
amazing news got over on the airwaves

TONIGHT love is racing
TONIGHT constellation
TONIGHT love is racing my way
Almost another day
Tonight, Tonight Tonight - Beat Crusers (Bleach opening)

Well, i thought i had a little while longer to wait but it seems that time is upon us.
Little William is cutting his teeth. He's not crying, but his odd whinging obviously means he's in some pain. We bought him a fridge cooling teething ring, but it's so big it doesn't really fit in his mouth. We've also been giving him Calpol, that seems to do the trick. or does it? *shrugs*

He's just as smiley and chirpy as ever though. And he's growing so fast. I've just had to put away most of his 0-3 months clothing and all the 3-6 month stuff hass made an appearance. His crib is up. He's sleeping in the crib, but inside his moses basket, so he can get used to it. He looks so adorable. (biased opinion maybe?)

We're going into town later. Poor kid only really ever gets to go to Tesco or his nana Jan's (Kris' mum's) so town will be fun (if he's not asleep when we get there!) Just feeding him his bottle (and typing one handed) then we'll get dressed and head out. ^_^

Sayonara!

2007-09-03T18:26:00.000Z

Oh what a world to take my breath away
From canyon deep to star above
All take their place to start the symphony
of a great big love

I've seen the valley from the mountaintop
Sailed cross the blue and back again
From east to west
Majestic tapestry I can't comprehend
(but that's not where I long to be)
(That's not where I long to be)
Vic Mignogna -Far from home

Thsi is just a very quick update. i have posted some more pictures of my gorgeous little man for your viewing pleasure. he's growing up so fast and so gorgeous. *smiles* i just can't stop kissing his gorgeous little cheeks. Even if he is a drooly boy! And i do mean William, not Kris! ^_^

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2021&l=227be&id=500117209 I hope that works!

2007-08-29T13:34:00.000Z

Roses are red
And violets are blue.
One day we'll cruise down
Blood Gulch avenue

It's red versus red
And blue versus blue
It's I against I
And me against you
Trocadero - Blood Gulch Blues

Somewhere in the receses of the month, it suddenly decided to be warm. all i can say is it's about time! We managed to pick up a really lovely cupboard for the bedroom. I can now put all my clothes away without doors falling off. It also means, since i have the room, i can now do loads mroe washing than i was before. i was onyl really washing the stuff we were going to need for the next few days, now i can go threw all my clothes, wash them all and pick those i want to get rid of and those i want to keep. (needed to do that for months now)

My little man is sleeping at the moment. His dad went off to work for 8 this morning and won't be home till 4. That's not too bad. And he's working a 7 - 3 on saterday, so, ya know, can't really complain.

Mum and i had an argument saterday and haven't seen each other since. To be honest, she was a compkete child about what i was tryiong (very carmly) to explain to her. And i n the end, it's her loss. I have a family of my own to take care of now, i can't be expect to take care of her. I bail her out iwth money, i listen to all her ravings about suicide and i really can't be doing with the burden when i have a little man to take care of. And like i said, she'll miss out cause she's not seeing William.

Any who, enough of that. Emotional baggage left at the door please! ^_^ i'm off to do some housework. * sigh* at least i can play my music loud! (though not too loud casue of little William's ears)

Jaa ne!

2007-08-13T22:18:00.000Z

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
Iris - Goo Goo Dolls

i've notice the colour for my font on this blog cahgnes every now and then. Weird.
if i say this is a short blog it'll be massive, so you'll just have to sit ang wing it with me ^_^

My dear friend Samantha will be in India by the time I type this. She's off to help out in the hotel business. I wish her every success and happiness. My lil man will be much older and have grown much larger by the time she returns. I am quite sad to hear she is leaving, yet at the same time i am happy that she is persuing her dreams, for our dreams are the things that keep us going.

Kris is on a night shift tonight and tomorrow (really i should be in bed) and the lil one has injections wednesday morning. I have plans for next weekend too. I have booked a Tarot reading. (i love that kind of stuff). I wonder what it will say? Hmmm, the mind wounders. (did i spell them right?)

William is sleeping threw the night now. iIm pretty sure i already said that (and continue to on every post) but i like to cover myself, just in case!

I sat watching William sleep earlier and found myself getting a bit teary eyed. He is such a gorgeous little man, and i love him dearly. I get scared when he does his 'I don't look like i'm breathing' thing, am there for him to hug when he has his nightmares and love the little smile he gives when i quote Pirates of the Caribbean to him (i was telling him i had a jar of dirt, if you don't know what i mean, watch the second movie: Dead mans chest)
He even found it funny when i said a characters name sounded like a fish from japan (I was saying 'would you like a plate of Ikitaki? He laughed.)

He's even started to suck his thumb, and was able to hold his own bottle the other day (not quite at the right angle to drink, but he held it steady so it didnt' fall. he's such a clever little man.) He holds himself up-right very well and is such an alert and interested boy. £10 says he's a monster when he learns to crawl! ^_^

I should curl up in bed and get some sleep. A tired mummy can do nothing for her little boy, and both Kris and William will need me tomorrow.

Sweet dreams all.
Oyasuminasai (that's good night in japanese)

2007-08-01T16:00:00.000Z

Take the time to make some sense
Of what you want to say
And cast your words away upon the waves

Then sail them home with Acquiesce
On a ship of hope today
And as they land upon the shore
Tell them not to fear no more
Sing it loud and sing it proud today
The masterplan - Oasis

William is fasinated with is hands and making his bouncy chair bouncy by himself. It's a funny life, being a baby. He is actually sat watching me type this, which is cute in itself.

Kris is back at work, doing his afternoon shift. He's back on night shifts over the weekend, which means sleeping alone. I'm not really bothered though, cause William has been sleeping for most of the night (normally asleep by 9 and awake at 6:30 - 7 ish) which is great for me! ^_^ Though now i've said that he won't. V_V

He's ever so awake during the days now. He might catch the odd two hour kip either in the morning or around 2 o'clock, but otherwise he's happy, chirpy and playful! It's lovely to see really. He's such a contented baby! My little William.

This is really just a quick post, i'm off to make myself some dinner before my stomach eats itself. Though that would help me lose some weight, it would also make me very ill.
Ciao!

2007-07-27T18:45:00.000Z

I'm nabshin my afro suits me
It's easy to clean just wash it once,
The babes all like it cause it messy
And i like it 'cause i don't have to brush!
Afro song - Nabashin (Excel Saga)

I had SUCH an awsome day on monday! My mum William sat while kris and i got a bit of a mini holiday. Alton Towers!!!! can you believe it?

The journey was quite good, especially for a holiday week. The first ride we went on was Rita, queen of speed. it's over in about 30 seconds but it's a real adrenalin pumper. Then the corkscrew... that ride is wicked. then we went on hex, got some food, went on oblivion, and then submission, which hangs you upside-down... (shivers) and then enterprise. After that we wandered around and went on the spinball whizzer. i went on a ride similar to it in my home town once with my friend sam. we ended up in the chronicle and echo for that too....

After that we decided to get drenched on the log flume, then hit the haunted house (which they have turned into a shoot-the lights/zombies game called duel) and then the river rapids and the runaway mine train. you grabbed some snacks (chocolate chip cookies... yummy yum yum) and i hit the Ripsaw alone. The guy oporating the water funnels was in a nasty mood so he soaked EVERYONE who went on the ride. and i mean RIGHT IN OUR FACES!!!! i dried off with kris on the blade (a pirate ship) and then we went on Nemesis. I ADORE that ride to DEATH!!!! Air was closed due to technical failer so we went on Rita and the Corkscrew again. by this time it was coming to ride close (5:30) so we got one more ride ont he Rapids, then the runaway mine train again. the first time on the train he sent us round three times, but on the last go we got FOUR time round. It was truly awsome.

Once we'd finished the runaway mine train it was time to travel back to the car and back home. I was tired, poor old kris was exahsted and we slep VERY well that night. the next day we just vegged. i coudl hardly move and Kris could hardly keep his eyes open. William, on the other hand, was bright and happy and chirpy. Where do these babies get their energy?

So that's kinda why there's been a lack-of-update. i've been recovering! lol ^_^
hopefully it won't be so long before i up-date again.
Sayonara for now peeps!
^_^ ~Joey~

2007-07-16T17:06:00.000Z

There used to be a greying tower alone on the sea.
You became the light on the dark side of me.
Love remained a drug that's the high and not the pill.

But did you know, That when it snows,
My eyes become large and,
The light that you shine can be seen.
Seal - Kiss from a rose.

Willima has his three month injections on wednsday. I'm having my post natal then too. i know i should have done it ages ago, and really i have no excuse. At least i'm having it done now though.
Kirs has 17 days off as of friday of last week. hopefully if mum can book the day off to take care of Will then we're going to Alton Towers on the 27th. I can't wait to go on some of the more scary rides. they've added a new area to the Haunted house too. Awsome!

This is only really a small entry. Kris and i bought a Wii. It's brilliant. I love the tennis and the bowling! Kris is more into the golf and the boxing, which i find quite broing myself. and i have such a sore arm from the baseball. We also got Mario party 8 and the mario football game. I wanna get Resident Evil 4 (obviously).

Well, i gotta go. I should at least spend some time with Kris while i've got him home!
Sayonara

2007-07-04T13:07:00.000Z

(Haruhi: When I opened the door, there was–)
We’re always here waiting for you,
so if something’s troubling you, let us hear about it

Even your sad face (don’t worry),
which was crying earlier (soon),
Look, we can change it to a smile before you know it
(Honey: Change it to a smile!)
Matta Ashita (See you Tomorrow) - Ouran High School Host club.

Well, it's been a while since i last updated. A friend of mine has got back in touch after a Txt message that was sent. I love the way that happens. It was one of those 'chain' txts and i thought 'what a wonderful thing to send to her' and she e-mailed methe next day. I was so happy.

William has started giggling and smiling like a mad hatter now! It's so cute to see him so happy and chirpy. And Kris is just as mad, dancing around the sitting room and sticking his tounge out trying to make him smile. My mum even got him smiling by asking if his belly button fluff was the same colour blue as his T-shirt. William found that hillarious. Strange child!

I have soo much house work to do i have NO idea where to start. I suppose i could put the plates away first... or wash the baby's clothes... or just have a drink and think about it later. lol.
We decided to go for a walk yesterday, and as soon as we left the house it started to rain. determined to go for this walk we continued on, got to the local shop and headed back. of course, as soon as we got home out came the sun! Typical, i thought.
oh well, hindesight is a wonderful thing!

I better go and do this house work, for it shall not do itself (mores the pitty)
Well, take care and be safe for now!
Sayonara!

2007-06-20T11:03:00.000Z

Heaven's gates won't open up for me
With these broken wings I'm fallin'
And all I see is you
These city walls ain't got no love for me
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And oh I scream for you
Come please I'm callin'
And all I need from you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'
Savin' me - Nickleback

Ho hum... What can i say. It's been an interesting couple of weeks. William is now 2 months old, and has had his first set of injections. poor kid was very brave... two injections into his legs. one in his right leg, which he pretty much ignored, but the one in his left leg made him very grouchy. Luckly he was fine after a quick drink of milk and a mummy-hug.

Then off to Tesco for some lunch for mum and dad over the next few days and he was gone. zonked... bless him. I now see what my mum meant when she said about being 'overly protective'. the minuet i saw those needles going towards my son i felt like saying 'don't you hurt my little boy.... i'll box your ears in i will!' but they were for his own good.... and now he's sat on the sofa with his daddy watching him play Final Fantasy XII on the Playstation.

He's off out again on friday. we're off to see a very close friend. Well, more like family really. a trip in to town followed by a well overdue Visit. I'm just lucky that kris isn;t working an evening over the weekend. they changed his shifts cause they have loads of people on the evening shift so he's doing a morning. I'm not quite sure why i'm telling you all this, but... hey, now you know.

well... i can't think of much else to say really... i suppose i better go give William his medicine. horrible tasting stuff... i got some on my finger the other day and didn't realise, got some choc on my finger, licked it off and tasted Williams Folic Acid. Eck! Poor kid, now i know why he pulls a face when i give it to him. ^_^

Sayonara for now!

2007-06-01T09:35:00.000Z

Soldier A
Soldier A
The un-sung hero of anime,
Hip horray,
For Solider A
He only has one line but saves the day!

He's called apon to grunt or yell or scream,
Even if his mouth is never seen.
Thre the fray, with ne'er to say
He'll lead the way, he's Soldier A
Soldier A - Vic Mignogna (Used with permission)

Once again i'm listening to Metafiction by Vic Mignogna. It's such a wonderful album... and i love this song (Soldier A) If you get a chance, go onto his myspace site Vicmignognamusic and listen to his songs. There will onyl be four of them, and i Suggest Mothing i won't give and Je N'ai Pas De Mots. He wrote it for his girlfriend, Michele. It's a lovely song and really sweet.

So if you get the chance, go to www.myspace.com/vicmignognamusic and listen to Nothing i won;t give, Je N'ai Pas De Mots and Soldier A! you won't regret it!

William was at the Grandparents last night. he'd been crying from 2 in the morning wednesday till about 1 o clock yesterday. Kris had done a night shift and was un-able to sleep and i had gone threw everything to try and sort William out. The thing that annoyed me, was just as Laurence truned up to take him, he calmed down. We went out to say goodbye to Will and he looked at me as if to say 'mummy, why are you sending me away?' which, of course, made me cry.

but it gives me time to do some housework. do the washing up, the washing, hover... all that jazz... (hehe, chicago. lol)

So i better got do it. Just thought i'd let you guys know about the wonderful Vic's webpage and his wonderful music.
Sayonara!
~ Joey ~

2007-05-29T12:56:00.000Z

Now gather ‘round for a tale that's tall
But true as it can be
‘bout the day the Rangers of Risembool
met the Skirts in middle Tennessee

The leader of the MSA
a giant of a fella
set out to show that his miniskirts
were anything but yella
The Legend of Middle Tenneessee - Vic Mignogna (Used with permission)

Saterday has come and gone and I had a blast. The Photo's have been taken and downloaded onto my Facebook.com account, I have seen myself in three Youtube videos (Ranger Skit and Ranger cake. the other I can't remember) and I have so such a sore throat that I think I'm funding the Lemsip compony.

Vic was as lovely as everyone who'd already met him had said, and his girlfriend, Michele, is just as lovely. We got to have a good natter about following Vic and how lucky they both where to have each other. She's in one of the photo's actually... She was very gorgeous. ^_^

Fortunatly, the weather changed just as I left for the tube. I was glad that it didn't rain till the late afternoon/evening. We went outside with Vic and he was so funny. If you look on Youtube for either 2007 Ranger Skit or Ranger cake, you'll see us! Risembool Rangers Forever!

Lobve to Vic, thank you so much for making my day so lovely and being such a noce guy!
And Lobve to my fellow rangers, for without you, I would have been lost all day!
Sayonara!

2007-05-27T08:54:00.001Z

Now gather round for a tale that's tall

But true as it can be

about the day the Rangers of Risembool

met the Skirts in middle Tennessee

The leader of the MSA

a giant of a fella

set out to show that his miniskirts

were anything but yella(Ooo ooo ooo)

Across the line a shorter man

But with fire in his eyes

Would lead the Rangers in their quest

To squash the skirt-clad guys

The Legend of Middle Tenneessee - Vic Mignogna

OMG!!!! I was so brave yesterday. I went to London on my own.

There was an Anime Expo on at the Custom House Center and I went to meet Vic Mignogna (Said minyona, I think it's Italian) And i had a great time. I meet up with the UK Risembool Rangers (Vic official fan club) and bought loads of great stuff. My throat hurts from all the giggling, shouting and all around madness of the day, and I got so many Vic Hugs that I though I was going to die and end up in heaven.

Apart from the day Kris asked me out, the day I married him and the day my son was born, that was the best day of my life! (have to remember my priorities (SP) are right)

2007-05-21T20:04:00.000Z

Here's throught for everyman who tries to understand,
what is in his hand
He walks along the open road of love and life
surviving if he can
Bound with all the weight of all
the words he tried to say
chained to all the places that
he never wished to
as he faced the sun he cast no shadow
Oasis - Cast No Shadow

I sit here with William in my arms, grazing on his milk while fighting off the sandman. I've just said goodbye to Kris, he won't be home now untill at least 7:45 in the morning.

Next saterday is the London Expo. I'm excited, as i hace been allowed to go, yet nervouse, for I shall be travelling alone. O_O I'm not even sure if the trains will be running from Northampton, though i recon they will. I'll be dropping William off at my mum's at about 6:30 in the morning so i can get the bus to the station. I'm hoping everything goes smoothly.

Found some wonderful pieces of music on the net the other day, some of which i would have had to record from the Games/animes themselves otherwise. I love how that happens.

Well, Master Cadd has succomed to the sandman, so i should get some kip myself.
Be safe and take care! ^_^
Sayonara!

2007-05-18T12:49:00.000Z

So where do we go from here
And how to forget and forgive
What's gone is forever lost.
Now all we can do is live.
Brothers - Fullmetal Alchemist

My gorgeous little one month old is laying beside me getting some well deserved kip. I went to see a Medium last night, so Kris was left to take care of William. It was good for him, it gave him and William some time to bond (which was much needed.) Kris is on afternoons over the weekend, so he's up for Will at night. It means i get to sleep and not have to worry about Will till monday and tuesday (when Kris is on his night shifts.)

William is getting better at the nigth-time feeds. He's not staying awake as long as he used to and is being better for Kris. The health visitor weighed him last week, and he'd grown to six pounds, when she weighed him this week he was 6 pound 12. That's 12 ounces in one week. ^_^
I found myself singing to him the other night an altered version of The Automatics song, Monster. Their lyrics are (If you haven't heard it) 'What's that coming over the hill, is it a monster?'. I was singing 'What's that guzzling milk on my lap, is it a monster?'
Needless to say William was not impressed. V_V

In a few months time (after my brothers Graduation) i shall be holding a get together for family and friends to come and see William. I might also try and get around to your houses and show him off (When i can arrange it with both you guys and Kris, who is, as always, my 'Taxi')

Steven, My Brother-in-law, found some excellent Ringtones on the internet that took me right back to my childhood. I asked him to send two of them to my phone, one of which, unfortunalty, arrived corrupted. Dangermouse theme tune (Which was the Corrupted one) And Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles. Both of which were programmes i used to love 'when i were but a nipper'. (lol, crazy yorkshire slang and stuff)

I wish Dangermouse worked, but instead, my ringtone is now TNHT. *Sigh* Dangermouse Rocks!
Sayonara!

2007-05-08T10:14:00.000Z

In this farewell,
There's no blood,
There's no aliby.
Cause I've drawn regret,
From the truth,
Of a thousand Lies.

So let mercy come,
And wash away
What i've done.

It's been two weeks, five days and oh so many hours since my son came into the world, and I never expected it to be so... Emotional. O_O

Don't get me wrong, I knew it would be hard work. I have a whole life to take care of... But i've never cried so much in my life. First i cried cause it was four in the morning and i had to change his nappy, but he wouldn;t sit still and stop wriggling. Then a few days later I had just finished feeding him and he'd fallen asleep and I just burst into tears while watching him.

Poor old Kris went back to work yesterday, So sunday and Monday nights I was up for William when he cried. I've also been told off for not resting. I must admit, after the kitchen being done (which is finished.... YAY ^_^) I decided to re-arange my kitchen cupboards, do the (mountain) of washing up, do the (other mountain) of washing, hoover and wash my kitchen floor. not all in one day mind, but I had just come out of hospital with a massive scar and i should have been resting. Obviously i was taking care of William too...

The only downside is Kris promised to help me with William, but he still seems to attached to his computer, then complains when I tell him off for not helping me out with our son.
Men, can't live with 'em, can't flush 'em!

Well, i better run. I've fed William but not had a chance to have any Breakfast myself... Though it's more like Brunch now. >_<>
Sayonara!

2007-05-03T15:20:00.000Z

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret
Who has to know....

William is now two weeks and one day old. He's not taken to breast feeding, which is a shame cause i was looking forward to it. I suppose i should at least be thankfull taht he's gained weight since he's been out of the hospital, since in his first week he lost a little bit of weight.

Kris and I are coping. The nights are sometimes hard, since William, on two occasions, decided to wake up at 3 in the morning and not settle till about 6. We checked if he was hungry, needed burping, was too hot, too cold, wanted a hug... he just wanted to wriggle, and cried when we put him down... do we just sat up with him till he cried himself to sleep. It's hard to leave him crying like that and not being able to help him out.

Most of the time once he's been changed and fed, he'll fall back to sleep. He's very good at taking his medicine too. He has Folic Acid and a Vitamin Supplement, both of which are in liquid form and both of which he takes without fuss. We normally let him take them with milk. It covers the possibility of them not tasting very nice.

I'd like to apologise for my spelling. I would have spell checked it before i posted, but sometimes you miss the odd one or two . If you go to www.facebook.com and look at my profile, you can see some really nice pictures of him (and some terrible ones of me) while we were in hospital. He, as usual, looks gorgeous, i on the other hand, look a mess. ^_^

Well, i shall say my goodbyes, Master William is due a feed.
Sayonara!

2007-04-23T09:20:00.000Z

Rose: What do I have to live for? You tell me that, Ed!
Edward: You'll have to find that out on your own. Move forward. You've got a good strong pair of legs, Rose. I suggest you use them.

I hope you're ready for a long blog....

I was admitted to Barrett maternarty hospital on Monday with high blood pressure, protine in my urine and the knowledge that my baby's growth had slowed ever so slightly from 20 weeks.
At 28 weeks I'm induced. Told i can only have the gell 3 times.

Contractions started on the monday night, but not enough, and i only dilated 1 cm. (i need to be quite a few before they can break my waters) Next morning they tried again, then in the afternoon, but once again i didn't have enough contractions and only dilated an extra cm. I was starting to get very aggitated. Wednesday i was moved to a room and preped for a cesarian section. This is were it starts to get fun!

The midwive came to take some blood and i had a drip installed. I'd been Nil By Mouth since midnight, so i was starving, hence the drip. Kris' face was paler than mine. I was tagged, dressed in an operation gown and at three they took me to the operating theater. Kris had to stay outside while i had an anesthetic injection into my back. I was then given a few moments to let it work. They spray cold spray onto your arm and say tell me when you feel the same coldness on your leg. Once you feel nothing up to about your waist Kris is allowed back in and the C-Section starts.

I can't tell you what they do, i refused to look, but i can feel them touching me and i feel a pulling feeling in my stomach. Before i knew it, baby William James Cadd is being weighed, tagged and given his Vitamin K injection.
He weighed 5 pound 4 and was born at 45 mins past three.
While they were 'stitching me up' William was wrapped and placed on my chest for me to hold. His eyes were the most gorgeouse blue and he looked perfect.

I was moved back to the high-dependancy ward and given an injection and some pain killers. Kris and William had already been sent through. I was sleepy and hungry but very happy.
On thursday i was moved to Sandringham Ward and there we stayed till Sunday.

We are both very happy to be home, and photo's of my special little guy will be posted on Facebook as soon as. Thank you to everyone who has helped me out during my pregnancy and if you haven't already been to see us, William and I will be around to say hi soon.

P.S. Here is a link to the first pic of William i took. it was done on my phone so it might not be very good. ^_^
http://ladyinpink.smugmug.com/photos/146894145-S.jpg.

2007-04-08T19:14:00.000Z

Tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes

Well, Friday was the quickest visit to the hospital all week. I arrived at about ten to 3, was seen to at 3 o' clock, had my blood pressure taken and my sample checked and was getting back in the car by 10 past. My blood pressure has gone down, so they're really happy about that. No more talk of being induced (yet, but i still have three weeks) and they've asked meto go back next week, but it being Easter Weekend and the Doctor i need to see is only in on monday so i can't really go till wed/thurs.

I'm kinda hoping i have the baby sometime soon though, the breathing thing i can handle but it's getting uncomfortable just to sit in a chair. Any chair. I can't rest in a sofa, i can't sit in a recliner... i even have trouble sitting at the computer... I wanna sit in comfort!!!!!
The funny thing is that the midwife has told me the baby has turned round ready to be born, so it's bum is in my face. Tehe Bum-face. lol

Going to my friends house on Wednesday. It's been a while since i've seen her and she's back in our hometown for easter. We're gonna get together for Pizza and watch DVD's and i'm gonna show her how big my bump has grown since i saw her last. ^_^ Everyone has been having a feel, and then looking at me as if to say 'you've eaten a human'

My mum has said my bump has dropped, which is another sign that it might not be too long now. Everything is packed, the nursery is set up, the car seat is in the car and i have PJ's i can wear while i'm breast feeding, so now all i need to do is sit back, wait for the contractions to start and have the baby.

Here's to the third biggest desition of my life.
X Joey X

2007-04-05T10:25:00.000Z

Fallen angels at my feet,
Whispered voices in my ear,
Death before my eyes
Lying next to me i fear.

Well, it's been a long and tiring week and it's only thursday.
The midwife appointment on monday showed my blood pressure was high and, on saturday, i had experianced a mild numbness spell and tunnel vision. Convinced the two might not be connected but a little worried, the midwife sent me to the Antenatal assessment unit at the hospital where i was hooked up to a machine that monitored the baby's heart beat and any possible tightening of the womb. My blood pressure was taken again and they asked to take some bloods and send them away for testing.
Quite a scary thing when you only have like, three weeks to go anyway.

So, they tell me my bloods are fine but there is cause for concern with my blood pressure and can i go back on wednesday. so back i go, hooked up to machine again and urin sample tested. I am now told there are trace amounts of protine in my urine... they are making sure i don't get pre-eclempsia. I have to give them 24 hours worth of urine samples and go back on friday.

My bloods are taken again, the baby, i am reassured, is perfectly fine, but i may have to be induced. I'm told it's likely i won't be carrying the baby to it's due date. They want to leave it for as long as possible, but it looks like i might be having this baby earlier than expected.

I'm in again on friday, as i said, so we'll see what they say then, but they're convinced in the Labour ward that my blood pressure won't get any lower and so they want to keep an eye on me. I'll be hooked up tot he machine, have my blood pressure taken, my bloods checked and i might even be admitted to hospital. It's fun trying to keep a smile on my face.

Fingers crossed everything goes well.

2007-03-26T19:13:00.000Z

We the people fight for our existence
We don't claim to be perfect, But we're free
We dream our dreams alone with no resistance
Fading like the stars we wish to be.

Five weeks to go before my due date. Kris helped me pack all the items i would need for the hospital. Still things like open front nighties and nursing bra's to buy, but i have a while to get them yet so i'm ok. Obviously i don't want to leave it too long since technically i could give birth any day now. O_O Kris' mum mentioned wanting to go shopping with me for that kind of stuff, so i might mention it to her when we go over on sunday.

I have a midwife appointment on the 2nd april, an exact month from my due date, then two weeks later a GP appointment the 2 weeks later my last midwife appointment and hopefully my birth. T_T it's going so quickly.
I have antenatle classes on 12th and 19th april, both run from 2pm - 4 pm, both at the childrens center. Kris and i are looking forward to those, me mainly so i can learn how to 'breath threw the pain' so to speak.

So not much more to tell. It's all pretty much same old same old for the next five weeks. ^_^
Not long now and i'll be a mummy for the first time. (tries not to cry) It's all so exciting.

2007-03-20T14:12:00.000Z

I am an arms dealer
Fitting you with weapons in the form of words
And don't really care which side wins
As long as the room keeps singing
That's just the business I'm in, yeah!

Ahoy hoy! Some good news and some bad news. The good news is I only have six weeks left till i'm due. I have appointments every two weeks now. One yesterday with bobby, then i have one on the second of april, which will be an exact month from my due date ^_^.
The bad news is the sickness has come back. Not as badly as it was in my 'first' six weeks, but it's still annoying. I was told that some women have morning sickness throughout pregnancy, so i suppose i've been lucky. I was glad when it died down after the first three months, then it was every now and then. (maybe i wasn't cooking my food properly or my body just didn';t like what i was eating? Could be anything)

Measured the baby, it's a little small apparantly. OH! Jan (Kris' mum, my mother-in-law) had taped some birthing programmes for me, just to get my head around what i'm to expect... I was so shocked. The baby comes out Purple! No one told me the baby would be purple! I worry enough about things to know my baby is going to be purple.
I panicked. "Will the baby be alright? It won;t stay that colour for long will it?" I asked. Jan assured me the baby was quite fine and the colour would start to fade.
"You have to remember it's been in your womb and in water already. It's been happening for years."
I blinked. "Yes... but the only time i've ever seen something purple is when it's having trouble breathing... I don't think i can do this."

Oh well, it's a bit late to be saying that now, isn't it. ^_^

2007-03-15T12:03:00.000Z

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend,
Somewhere along in the bitterness,
And I would have stayed up with you all night,
Had I known how to save a life.

Carpets are in and the house looks lovely. It's certainly a change for the place to start looking like a home now. Hopefully going to feel well enough to sort the nursery out today or tomorrow. Sickness has come back (sulks) so i'm trying to take it easy. I'm guessing it's cause the baby is taking up the room where i would normally be able to breathe and move, so my food is being squished. Ew, squishy food!

Oh! a really big Argos van has just pulled up outside. Looks like someone's been shopping! ^_^
i'd love to go out shopping but moving makes me feel queezy. O_O
Kinda double, well, triple booked myself for saterday. Louise might have her car (she passed her test, which is ace, and has seen a really nice Red Ford KA which she's picking up today) so she said she might drive over, I asked Jan to come over and bring the baby stuff she had so we can go threw the nursery stuff and of course, mum will prob ask me when i wanna go tesco.
Fun fun fun! T_T

Got the dentis tomorrow.... (sulk sulk) i hate going, cause lets face it, the dentist isn't the most pleasent experiance in the world (though that view might change in 6/7 weeks time ^_^) and then MOTHERS DAY is sunday ladies and gents... don't go forgetting now! Then it's the Midwife on monday.
The days are just packed!

2007-03-08T23:31:00.000Z

Konban Wa!

It's like, 23:29 on thursday and I should be in bed. O_O i am soooo down right now...

This is, like, a mega quick one. it's not so much the Video i want you to pay attention to but the song. There is an anime i have fallen in love with called 'Fullmetal Alchemist' and it's all about how when the main characters (Ed and Al Elric) Mother dies, they use a fornidden Alchemy Transmutation (spell) to try and bring her back and it backfires. Ed losses his right arm and his left leg and Al's body is taken away. To save his brother Ed binds Al's soul to a suit of armour so he can 'live' and the two journey to try and fix each other via use of the Philosophers Stone.

This song is usual in russian, the man singing is the american voice actor for Ed's character, Vic Mignogna. I just thought it's such a beautiful song, i had to share it with the world. If you do watch the vid i will warn you, this may look like a Cartoon (growls) but REAL anime is made for adult audiances and 'pokemon' and 'yu-gi'oh' have been americanised or 'sugar coated'
There might be blood.

So, here it is... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLy04NnUnlA check it out.... it;s a lovely piece of music with gorgeous lyrics.

Ha, and i said this was a quick one.

2007-03-06T12:38:00.000Z

You're giving me to many things latley
You're all i need.

Eight weeks left. Next week the carpets are coming and then hopefully at the end of the month the new kitchen will be fitted. Hopeing it's all done before i go into labour. I still remember how shocked i was to find out i was six weeks gone when i went to the midwife for the first time, and that went quickly.

It's getting so much closer that i'm now in two minds. I'm happy it's coming to an end, becuase the need to cry for no real reason is starting to set in, but i'm a little worried about what's going to happen and how everything will go. I'm not even sure how long they keep you in for these days, so do i need overnight stuff or just enough stuff to have the baby, chill for a few hours and then go home? I just don't know.

I suppose all i can do now is sit back relax and wait for it all to unfold.
I hate waiting.

2007-02-28T21:53:00.000Z

Every breath you take, Every move you make,
Every bond you break, every step you take,
I'll be watching you.

It's my 23rd birthday today, and it feels like an ordinary day. Got £35 worth of vouchers for Marks and Spencers from my grandfather, a gorgeous birthstone fairy from my friend Louise and Stay Alive and Clue on DVD from my Husband. Not a bad turn out to be fair. Birthdays get boring the older you get. I don't really want anything and we don't really need anything, so there wasn't really much to expect.

I will say i have had to close my e-mail account on mailbolt.com. I had some problems with them so i've shut it down and am going to try and start again. If you need to contact me, my other e-mail address is Lady_Kattrina84@Yahoo.co.uk and i have no problem with you contacting me there. In fact, i would love it.

I'm off to watch Never mind the Buzzcocks on Channel 2.
It funny... it make me laugh.

Ciao!

P.S please check this place out. http://kevan.org/brain.cgi?Josie-Lou!count All you have to do is type in your name and it will do the rest. It's free and it's fun!
Thank you.

2007-02-21T22:00:00.000Z

It's a new day But it all feels old,
It's a good life that's what I'm told,
But everything, it all just feels the same...

It's getting close to my 31st week, which means a trip to the GP. This, unfortunatly, means i will have to have blood taken. I was supposed to have some taken at 28 weeks, but the Midwife forgot and i got off scott free (HOORAY!!!)

This blog is going to be about slightly different things. I have been watching (a lot) of old Friends Episodes on E4+1 (it's on before the Scrubs double bill) and it's been reminding me of the old days at my friends house.

There are so many brilliant moments in friends, like when Monica wears the Turkey on her head to cheer Chandler up and frightens Joey. And the time Chandler walks into the apartment to find the chick and the duck watching the cooking channel and he makes that really funny 'ahh ahh' noise. And of course, When Phoebe has the triplets and she goes for the 'mini high-fives, yay'

I just wanted to remember some smiles and laughs. I' not really sure if this blog had a purpose, but i feel better for it.

Ciao!

2007-02-17T21:40:00.000Z

And the Panda went...

I'm sat alone on the sofa trying to think of something to tell you. There have been no changes with the baby, i still have (counts in head) 10 weeks left (roughly two months, doesn't ound like much does it.) and when i went to see my friend kate at Next (she has a five year old son) she said i wasn't looking very big for 29/30 weeks, but i was certainly happier and glowing. I suppose loosing all that weight due to morning sickness must have helped with that.

And Kate isn't the only one who's commented on me being so un-pregnant looking. It could be cause i wear a bulky cadigan when i go out, having been used to trying to hide my stomach.
Then again, those who have seen my bump have said it's a proper baby bump... I stil can't get the feeling of being fat out of my mind. T_T I'm so insecure about my image.

Hmm, i've just scanned this and it's turning out to be a ranting blog, so i might just wrap it up before i start monologing. Oh, but the great thing is, my dad sent someone over to measure up the carpets. She's going to get in contact with my dad and they're gonna talk about prices etc. It's so great! Free carpets and a free kitchen... Ace!

Well, i'm off to watch some TV. And eat Cadbury's creme eggs... Oh yeah, yum yum.
Ciao! ^_^

2007-02-14T20:30:00.000Z

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue

It's valentine's Day. Or should i say Valentine's evening. I'm tired, I'm cold and i'm home alone.
My darling husband has been at work since 1:15pm and won't be home till 9:45pm. I don't expect a card or present, but it would have been nice to spend some time with him. (I haven't slept all night in about a month, so i wasn't up till midday)

The baby is using my energy to kick me and move about. I would like to use my energy to tidy the house, but never mind. Got the chance to catch up on some gossip at Next today. Went into town town to get some food so i nipped in to say 'hi'. ^_^
They all say i don't look very pregnant. (bare in mind i'm 29 weeks gone) But i suppose that's good. I don't look fat! lol.

My dad has started the ball rolling with some carpets and a kitchen. The people sorting the carpets measured up the house yesterday so she's going to get in contact with dad about figures etc. We got loads of stuff for the nursery! Which is great! I have, like three pushchairs. One 3 way all in one crazy pushchair that is a car seat, pushchair and a carry cot?! One easily foldable pushchair for when the child is more of a toddler and one for pretty much having around incase the other two break/disappear/evaporate.
Now all i really need is the baby. T_T

Ugh! Kris has evening shifts over the weekend, so i'll be sleeping alone Friday, Saturday and Sunday. T_T It does mean he's off all day Monday and Tuesday, though Monday he'll be sleeping most of the day. O_O then again, so might i!

Well, the baby want's to beat me up so i'm gonna go get comfy on the sofa and wait for Kris to come home.
Laters!

2007-02-07T12:37:00.000Z

Wonder boy!
What is the secret of your power?

It's official. I think everyone in my family has contributed something to the baby. Mum has bought some toys, my dad and step mum have given me some three in one pram that i have a sneaking suspition cameode in Transformers, Aunty Adele just gave us a life time supply of baby furniture and linen, Grandad has given me a Moses Basket that my Grandma is fixing up for me, and even grandpa can sort out some of the broken wicker lining... The mother-in-law has bought me no end of baby bottles, nappies, baby grows, cotton wool buds... you can see where this is going.

I'm a little nervous, because i have to have a blood test this week and i'm not so hot on needles, (I'm sure this you know already) but the previous tests that came back are all negative, which is great to hear. Carpets in the house are being sorted, dad's taken measurements for the new kitchen and the house is starting to look less like a dumping ground. Everything is coming together nicely. ^_^

And i heard the babies heart beat for the first time on monday. It was like budumpbudumpbudumpbudumpbudump... Like a proper thumpthump. It's really fast until about three weeks after it's born then it calms down to the normal speed. It was soo cool.

I'm starting to enjoy this.

2007-02-01T15:58:00.000Z

It's time to prove to your friends that you're worth a damb
Some times that means dying,
sometimes that means killing a whole lotta people!!!
Sin City Trailer

This weekend i'm travelling T'north to visit my Aunt and Uncle. Really looking forward to it, i always enjoy seeing them. Hopefully i will come home with more baby stuff than i could possibly buy in one sitting. things like the crib, a moses basket, a baby chair, a pushchair... I don't remember the exact list, but it was long.

This does, of course, mean that kris' car has now been fixed. Everything (thank god) now works, so we can travel far away and not worry about getting stranded in the middle of the motorway with nothing but a drink of Ribena and each other. (of course we'll have our phones, so we won't be 'stranded' per say)

The baby is starting to move more. And i mean like, i've had a total of six hours sleep over the past two nights. It's not just the baby moving now, it's also pelvic pains (getting ready to push a cannon ball threw a pin hole I expect. lol)

On a different note, and i'm not sure how many of you will be interested, but it was released today that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows will be released on the 21st July in Waterstones and all good (and some of the bad) bookshops, internet sites and for birthday presents etc.
What do i think about the rumours J.K rowling will kill off Harry? i know she's killing two characters, wouldn't it be an exciting fight if it was both Harry and Voldemort? And will the delightful Lucius Malfoy be released from Azkaban for this book? We shall have to see.

Peace out! ^_*

2007-01-27T12:18:00.000Z

Listen to your heart,
Before you tell him goodbye.

Ok. I'm ready to accept that, due to the growth of my baby and the weight i have been loosing, there is not alot of room left in my tummy. Fair enough. But that does not justify an attack of the limbs at half past 3 in the morning. I feel my baby is playing the Hockey Cockey in my stomach!
It started off as the odd feeling of something brushing my tummy, and has escalated to a full blown morse code performance. Do babies even know morse code?

Once the 'party' died down i was able to get back to sleep, but had wriggled around so much getting a comfortable spot that i was ill this morning. It didn't help that i had to indure the 'party' again at about half ten. I often think i'm missing out on something in there? I'm waiting for the music to start and party poppers to be let off. ^_^

Oh well, only 13/14 weeks to go, then the little darling can kick me for real. and be sick on me, and poo everywhere...
Oh joy. ^_^

2007-01-22T17:15:00.000Z

The quickest way to a man's heart is threw his breast pocket.

I just ready very brifley someone's comment on the Psycological ending of some horror movies. The one he mentioned in particular was one where the crawling monsters of the movie (which I shall not name incase you which to watch it) are all in the main characters mind.
I feel that, movies such as 'Signs', 'Underworld', 'Resident Evil' and 'Dawn of the dead' are good because they play on our childhood fears of Aliens, Zombies, Werewolves and the Unknown. Why do we have to feel that believeing in these things is wrong? I personaly embrace the fears I had as a child, simply because, and I hope this makes sence, there is nothing wrong with fear.

I still wake up from nightmares where Zombies have somehow made their way into the house and i'm trapped. or i'm lost in the woods and I hear something chasing me. I hate to quote a fantasy book, but Professor Lupin in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban says to Harry, and I quote "That suggess that what you fear most of all is - fear. Very wise" ok it's sad that I know that, but this suggests to me that Childhood fears are a good thing to bring over into our adulthood. These things we fear, don't they keep us human, make us seem more real?

People often talk about what it would be like to be a kid again. Start by fearing the unknown instead of trying to give it a condition.
And look out behind you. ^_*

2007-01-22T10:55:00.000Z

Sold my soul for the second time,
Cause the man don't pay me.
The Importance of being Idle - Oasis

Last week I had my 25th week trip to the midwife. It went better than I thought. I had horrible images of her telling me I wasn't doing something or that the baby wasn't growing fast enough (I still feel like i'm just fat, not pregnant, people assure me otherwise) But everything is fine. She has this little machine that allows you to listen to the baby's heart beat and the minuet she placed it on my tummy the baby kicked right there. It was quite funny.

Three months left and I feel like I should be doing so much more than just sitting here growing my baby. The nursery is painted and we are traveling to my aunts on feb 4th to collect as much baby equipment as we can fill the car with. Providing we have a car by then. lol.
Still being fixed at the mo, but they're getting everything that needs fixing fixed and giving it a new MOT so it'll be a dream to drive when Kris finally gets it back. ^_^

The mother-in-law has been wonderful. She's gone out and bought so much stuff that we never would have been able to pick up, nappies, baby grows, cotton wool buds, sudocream, baby lotion, baby shampoo, baby wipes, sports bras for me and a lovely top that kris says makes me look beautiful. (it shows off my bump so i wasn't so sure, but everyone else loves it.) The pile of baby stuff grows by the day, which is great, and i'm really looking forwards to being able to start sorting out the nursery furniture, though the mother-in-law is probably far more excited than I am. ^_^

It's amazing to think that I was counting the three months last time to judge when the morning sickness would be over, now here I sit with my baby belly counting down the three months before the baby's due. It's a funny old world.

2007-01-15T19:17:00.000Z

True perfection has to be imperfect
I know that that sounds foolish but it's true.
Little by Little - Oasis

Well, it's been a hectic couple of days. Been brave and seen the dentist to get my teeth fixed up. Got another appoinment next tuesday which i'm not looking forwards to. Got a trip to Milton Keynes tomorrow and the Midwife on Wednesday, then Thursday Kris is getting his car fixed. Early mornings for the next few days, which sucks.

But it does mean i get to talk to the midwife about how long i have left. I've calculated three months (i'm roughly 24-25 weeks) and i'd like to discuss what i have to be ready for, anything i might need etc.

Finally finished the painting of the Nursery. E-mailed my dad about the carpets and spoken to my aunt about going over for lunch and too look at the Baby stuff. Really excited, still scared, but that's only because i'm a wuss when it comes to pain and it's my first baby. I just know that when they place that baby in my arms all the fear and all the worrying will feel like nothing. ^_^
And Kris will be beside me threw it all, so what do i have to fear?

XxX

2007-01-05T21:37:00.000Z

I needed you today
So where did you go?

Just a quick one, and i mean quick. I was checking over my Personal Maternity Record and have just calculated that i have three months and one week left until my baby is born.
Three months... one week... baby...
I'm not entirly sure we have enough time to sort everything out before the baby is born. We have only just been able to start the second coat on the nursery walls and we have no idea what's going on about kitting the place out, so i think it's time we sat down and started to have the 'official talk' that i've been dreading.

Well, it's late, i'm tired and i need chocolate. Which reminds me, any one ever read a book named Blood and Chocolate by Annete Curtis Klause? It's about a werewolf who falls in love with a mortal but the head of the pack wants to make her his mate. There's gonna be a movie about it but i wanted to read the book first and i wondered what poeple thought of it.

oops, that wasn't really very quick now, was it. *bites bottom lip*

2007-01-01T12:53:00.000Z

Give me a minute,
a man's got a limit
I can't get a life if my heart's not in it.

Ok, it's 2007, Chinese New Year of the Boar. I was, like many of Britan, watching the firework display on TV last night where they set London alight.
I found it hard to surpress my view, which I shared with my Husband:
"How come when Guy Fawkes tried to blow up london like that he was stopped but if you do it in the name of New Year it's a 'fantastic Display?'"
Needless to say he was not amused.

So, What New Years resolutions have i made? None. Why? I make it my mission not to promise myself things i can't do.

I hope, for you, it is a fruitful year.

2006-12-27T15:42:00.000Z

I've tried so hard, and got so far,
But in the end, it doesn't really matter.

Well, that's over and done with for another year! Seeing the family, pretending you like the novelty Christmas Reindeer jumper that nana bought you (now with flashing red nose, nice)
And of course the presents you did like and spent the whole day ignoring people becuse you were playing/reading/can't stop fiddling with all day.
This year i was shocked to find the Queen just saying good bye to me as i turned on the telly. Well, if she doesn't want to talk to me she shouldn't be on my screen (lol)

All in all a good crimbo. Hoping you all had a good one. Next year will be a heck of a handful, but i still have 363 days to go before i have to juggle a baby, a husband and christmas!

Roll on New Year I suppose.

2006-12-20T12:45:00.000Z

A good friend is one who visits you in jail.
A great friend is one sat beside you saying 'Damb, we messed up!'

I am so happy with myself.
There is a website I go on often called fanfiction.net. It's a place were people go to post stories they've written about stuff they are fans of. Like Harry Potter, Resident Evil, the Final Fantasy Series etc. Well, i'm a big Discworld, Harry Potter and Final Fantasy VII fan and have written a few stories of my own and have managed to upload 2 of my FF stories onto the site.
Under my pen name Kitty Vixen i've got one finished angst i wrote while rather depressed and one romance/humour that is only one chapter at the mo, but i'm fleshing it out.

I can't believe I actually have a story on the internet... two stories. They might not be everyone's 'cup of tea' but I enjoyed typing them and I hope someone somewhere enjoys reading them ^_^
Oh, and if you are thinking of going to read them, bare in mind they are rated M for mature readers due to language. They will both be under Game, then Final Fantasy VII then there are things at the top of the page where you can pick the rating, the genre etc. (for those of you new to the site.)

^_^ little author girl... te he... GO ME!

2006-12-19T11:57:00.000Z

Frozen inside without your touch, without your love.

Well, 'tis the week before Christmas. Technically, yesterday being Monday and Monday being Christmas day, it was yesterday, but i wasn't on then, so ner! *sticks out tounge*
Got a busy day today. Cinema, Aquariam, Tesco, In-Law's house, the moon... wait, scratch that last one. ^_^

Also got to drop off a dance mat for my friend. I said i had one spare and that he could have mine for free. Almost like a Christmas present, just without the wrapping paper (thank god).

Charlie is doind ok, Baby Bob is getting more fidgity... and Kris is off work now till new years day! Woohoo! We have to take Charlie to the vet for her check up on thursday at 11:30. I hope the pain killers have been helping and her claws are better. I don't like the thought of her having to go threw more pain. >_<

Well, i'm gonna grab some munchies and sort myself out for my busy day.
Sayonara *bows politley*

2006-12-14T20:50:00.000Z

There is no end and no begining, only Custard Pastries!!!!!

Had the worst two days of my life. Was cleaning out my Rabbit, Charlie, yesterday and my hubby, Kris, was rabbit sitting. I heard a weird noise and made a joke about him trying to kill my rabbit and he said Charlie had leapt out of his arms and he'd caught 'him' in mid air. We couldn't find the dustpan so we put Charlie back in 'his' cage and searched for it and i noticed Charlie was sat funny.

'His' back paw on his left side ad two claws out of place. So we drove 'him' to the vet and they kept 'him' in over night, then gave him a local anesthetic and took some x-rays. 2 Dislocated claws and, get this, if it had been done recently they would have been able to fix them while Charlie was under, but they'd healed like that, meaning it's been like that for roughly two weeks? Now roughly 3 weeks ago i clipped 'his' claws and the paw was fine. how could i miss something like that?

Oh, the reason for all he 'he' and 'his' stuff is because Charlie was sold to us as a male Rabbit. I was talking to the vet on the phone this afternoon and he said 'oh, and it's a female rabbit.'
Stupid question to ask a vet but i was like 'are you sure?'
So Charlie - originally named after Dom's character in Lost is now Charlie the girl.
Sorry Dom.

The paw is a little sore and 'he's' got pain killers. Very happy she's back. Missed her soo much last night, since my hubby was on night shift and the house was quiet. The vet did say if the claws continue to give pain the best thing to do will be amputate but other than that the paw is fine. Charlie has a check up planned for next thursday. Fingers crossed all will be fine.
^_^

2006-12-12T13:31:00.000Z

Stop Crying Your Heart Out.

Just got back from the Hospital where i had my mid-pregnancy scan. Everything is fine, heart is fine, two kidneys seen etc... there was only one down side. The baby had it's legs over it's head so we couldn't tell if it was a boy or a girl! >_<

My mum didn't want to know so at least no one will let it slip but it would have been nice to know. So it's baby Bob for the moment. I'm happy everything is aha 'normal'.
Looks like i'll just have to wait till i have the baby to find out if it's a boy or a girl.

XxX

2006-12-11T13:21:00.000Z

Everyday i wake up and it's sunday

I HATE MONDAYS!

Woke up feeling groggy and wishing i could have a day in bed. I feel so bad today i can't even eat toast. I even feel a bit sick drinking Lemsip and i love the stuff.

I decided to make personalised Christmas Cards for a few close friends and i hadn't even started till this morning. I had a great idea for one of the cards, but i have to put some background, and i can't think of anything to do.

The day of my scan is finally apon me. (well, it's tomorrow) and next sunday Sky One are showing Hogfather by Terry Pratchett. Can't wait, it's first half sun, second half mon. ^_^

Well, i should get back to drawing these cards.
Sayonara!

2006-12-09T11:56:00.000Z

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don’t know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone.

Sniffling, coughing and wanting to stay in bed all day i crawl into the kitchen to make myself a Blackcurrent lemsip. It feels like i've had this cold for years... the headaches, the throat pain, the constant need to blow my nose... and it doesn't help that the baby has now started kicking me nearly 24 hours a day.

You have no idea how hard it is to sleep when your baby is playing football with you... and i don't mean out on the pitch kinda thing, if ya know what i mean.
Of course, i can't get rid of my cold with too many lemsip's etc becuase of the affect of the Paracetamol on the baby. I hope i'm not ill over Christmas...

Finally decorated my mini christmas tree... not that i feel very festive. The funny thing is the Angel i've used is for the large tree i we used to have at my mum's house, so i have a massive angel on a mini tree. It looks so cute.

Oh, Friends is on...

Sayonara!

2006-12-04T22:34:00.000Z

I don't wanna die, but i ain't keen on living either.

It's too late in the day to be writing a blog. I know this, yet i still sit here in front of my Laptop ready to tell people who know me and the few who have stumled here the inner workings of my psyke. Is that how you spell it? Who know's? Who cares?

It's an amaizing thing, the human mind. One day it can have you in the highest state of euphoria, and the next all you feel like doing is locking yourself away from the world and never coming out. Not so long ago I was, well, lets not dress it up... I was self harming. I had reached a stage where so much about my past had gotten to me and recent events had just broken the facade i had built up over the years. I felt emptyness. Tears would not come and there was no one around who i felt would understand, and so the pain i felt from the knife edge across my skin was a welcome from the feeling of uselessness and regret.

Of course i regret what i did now, and the scars on my arms are a grim reminder of my stupidity. I lied to people about the cuts and the scars, and for a while the lies stuck. Just last Satuday i told my mum the truth about the cuts and she said she knew. I must admit i wasn't surprised and felt good that she knew the truth.
In fact, the only person i didn't lie to was my husband. I told him why i was doing it, i told him how and i talked it over with him. He didn't understand but he listened. He offered advice with the best of his understanding and he promised to help me get over it.

I'm not over it, i don't feel like i'll ever get over it, but i haven't taken a knife to my skin in over a year and i remain adament that i won't. I have to stay strong for the people around me, the people who love me and the little baby that will depend on me being strong.

But it leaves me wondering... How can i take care of a child when i can't even take care of myself?

2006-12-01T14:54:00.000Z

When I said 'death' before 'dishonor,' I meant alphabetically.

Interesting, dear reader, doesn't even cover it.
Christmas! We all know it's coming. Just a check, put your hands up all of you who don't feel Christmasy this year.
(does quick head count) Oh! that is just me then... thank you for clearing that one up.
You see, i can't remember if it was last year or the year before, but at some point, i just lost the Christmasy feel. Next year will be different of course... i'll have little baby Cadd to make it feel so much more special.

Speaking of which, a week on Tueday i have my 20 week scan. I'm kinda excited, but also kinda nervous. This is were they could tell me the baby has health problems, or maybe there's an abnormality... but i'm sure everything will be fine *bites bottom lip*
I also learn what the sex might be. it's a 30% chance that their wrong, but i'm still looking forward to knowing if the baby's going to be William or not? we're still going over girls names... just when we thought we had it settled, something else came along that sounded good. We did talk about the name katrina, but it was late at night and i was very sleepy...

We shall see.
~Jo-Chan~
Don't worry, the gods can't hurt me, I'm an atheist.

2006-11-28T20:57:00.000Z

These are my sins.

Just a quick one, i have been you-tubing (i like my word i've made up) and found this. Not being a fan of U2 i was upset to hear that Green Day had 'hooked up with them' so to speak, but this video, i have to show you. and the song is excellent too. So.. umm... Enjoy ^_^

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KWlOOhShhs

Sayonara! ^_^

2006-11-27T12:52:00.000Z

Touch my tears with your lips.
Touch my world with your fingertips.

Quite an interesting weekend to say the least. Sat was highly amusing, My hubby has been on night shifts, meaning he's been up at roughly 2 o clock, of to work at 9, home by 7 etc. Sat we had to buy some food but the car was partially blocked in by next doors. I'd like to point out at this stage that it had been raining very heavily the previous nights.
As a joke, and thinking he would ignor me, i told him to drive over the grass...
It was his own stupid fault for listening to me. Over he goes, forgeting that the grass is like a swamp when it's rained, getting his front tires stuck and flicking mud all over the front of his car.

It's safe to say we laughed about it from the off. We called his dad to see if he could help, and along he came with a tow rope in his car... only to discover his car didn't have a hook for towing cars. Next door came to the rescue though, and pulled us from our muddy prison. ^_^

Men 99.9% of the time we ARE right, but every now and then there's a 1% were you just shouldn't listen.

2006-11-22T13:15:00.000Z

Getting on my t**s

Ok, rant time now. Ladies and gentleman, i am 18 weeks and six days pregnant. Yes, it is my first child, yes i'm a little scared and i hope my midwife can help me.

Now the rant. For thousands of years women have been having babies. In china and other eastern countries some women work threw the whole nine months of their pregnancy, give birth to their children and return instantly to the rice fields to work. Thousands of years ago, we didn't have the modern technology and the modern science that we do now, and women got on quite fine.

So why, now things have progressed, must i have nine thousand different do's and dont's from friends and family?
For example, Since i'm at home most of the time, i decided to paint the nursery. Fair enough, you say...
"What, you did it?"
"Yes." My friend gave me an evil look
"I hope the room was well ventilated!"
and then there was food. My husband and i cannot afford to buy the most expense food, but according to my friend, that's all i should be eating.
I appreciate my friends concern, but that's OTT!

Well all i can say is this: When you are in the same boat i'm in, come back and start preaching. Until that time, Back off.
The only person who should be offering any advice should be my husband, the father of this child.

2006-11-16T11:28:00.000Z

whispers in the Dark

Christmas is fast approaching and the weather is getting worse. I hate November Rain! Not the song by Gun's n Roses, i mean rain in November. ^_^
It's wet, and it's windy and i have to go into town to sort my money out. >_< Bring back Autumn, that's what i say, when the leaves create a beautiful carpet of colour on the ground and as you walk you hear that fabulous 'crunch' sound. and you get to snuggle up to your hunny infront of the fire with a cup of chocolate and be all snuggly and warm.

I suppose you can do those things in winter too, but Autumn's more romantic. It's only romantic in winter if it snows.
*sigh* listen to me getting all sentimental about the weather. *blush*
It's nice to be in my own house this year though. Just me and Kris, no-one coming into the club to speak to the secretary. (The Flat we lived in before was a Gentleman's Club. Old rich people getting drunk and looking at me like i was an alien - 'A woman, in my gentleman's' club....' kinda thing.)

Not long until i go for my scan, 3 weeks and five days. ^_^ I'm really excited.
*sigh* oh well, better go and have some brunch. it's not quite breakfast, it's not quite lunch, but it comes with a slice of cantelope at the end!

Sayonara!

2006-11-06T15:12:00.000Z

What a difference a day makes.

Had another appointment with the midwaife today. Since i've moved house (like 3 months ago) i decided it would be a good idea to move Surgeries, so instead of the lovely Carol it was the equally lovely Bobby checking threw my information and reading the results of my 12 week scan. (which i loved. Never thought seeing something like that could make you blub like a child.)

One thing they ask is if you mind having blood taken. I could read out the long list of things they check for but we'd be here for hours and some of them are quite scary. >_<>

This, unfortunatly for me, meant another blood test today. now, i'm not afraid of blood, i'm not scared of having blood tests... but you come any where near me with a needle and you'll never see me again. I hate them... they are, without doubt, the worst inventions man (and it was man, cause he's just evil like that) could ever invent!

So now my right arm stings while some creep somewhere is looking at my blood. Charming.

2006-10-31T12:30:00.000Z

Been a while but i'm blogging again.

Toast has been my life line for the past six days.
"What would you like to eat hunnie?"
"Toast. Make me Toast... And on sunday, we eat sunday lunch, but now... Toast!"
Can't say i'm not getting my daily intake of fibre. lol.

Halloween today... normally my fave time of year, but i'm stuck at home un-able to party like a woman with loadsa cash (ha!) and no cares. (double ha!) Instead i have to open the door to small people and offer the chocolate that i would rather be eating. (my husband bought expensive Quality Streets instead of Milky way mini bars... I'm gonna be mean and steal all the fudge.)

Oh... my toast is ready (hehe) so i'm outta here.

Fudge-stealer out.

2006-10-27T11:31:00.000Z

It's amazing what a piece of music can do.

I woke up with yet another need to lock myself away from the world, yet with my head held high i left the warmth of my bed (earlier than usual) and headed for the comfort of my sofa. (well, i tried)

I've been purchasing random pieces of music from iTunes for the past two days. Only roughly 8 tunes, so not much money out of the old account. I've been a big fan of teh old ones like Meat Loaf and Guns n' Roses and Bon Jovi etc, so i decided to get some of Meaty's songs. Imagine my surprise when i find out he's done an amazing cover of 'It's all coming back to me now' originally sung by Celine Dion.
It is truely wonderful... i recomend if you can find it to listen to it. I've always believed the man was an excellent singer, but this is... WOW!

I can assure you it'll be playing on my iPod and in the background while I tidy and walk around town.

2006-10-26T17:04:00.000Z

I often wonder why i have such excellent ideas for Fanfiction's but when it comes to writing them i have trouble?

I'm reading a Fanfiction by an author called Purple Emperor. She's got some great idea's going on one of my fave stories (Discworld, and, it's about one of my two fave characters, Havelock Vetinari ^_^)
I'm unfortunatly still waiting for the end of the story (C'mon Purple Emperor, I can't wait any longer!) but it does give me even more ideas for stories i could write. I sit infront of the Laptop and stare at the screen thinking...
"Ok... how do i start this damb thing?"

Of course, then there's the time when i think of an excellent start to a story but then spend the next six months trying to finish it. God damb creativity is hard! Ah, to be an author... well, to be a GOOD author. lol

2006-10-25T13:18:00.000Z

Three months we've been in this house, and we STILL get mail for the previous owners.

The College have written, the Phone company have written... Not to mention we got a knock on the door from the bailiffs???
I decided the other day that i was sick and tired of getting their mail so i started ringing the places and telling them the previous owners where gone and we didn't know where. Hopefully the letters will stop.

Family are a weird and wonderful thing. My brother is close to finishing his doctors course and (soon) will be able to practice. The best person, you'd think, to talk to about pregnancy.
Wrong!
"Don't eat red meat and cook the meat you do have properly. Don't have dairy but try to drink milk. Don't eat runny yolk eggs, do not pass go, do not collect £200..." OMG! Is there anything i can do? y'know, like breathe?

All i can think about now is toast. I suppose i should try to eat something before my stomach starts to digest itself. 25 past 2 isn't the best time to have your first meal of the day. >_<

~Koneko-chan out~

2006-10-24T12:17:00.000Z

"Congratulations!" My mother beamed as she took the scan off me.
"You have a blob with a head."

Why do mothers always have to say the strangest things? I mean, sure she was ecstatic to hear she was a nana, but, ya' know, blob with a head? I found myself turning the scan around in my hands and almost seeing what she meant.
"The radiologist was happy with the size of the baby for just over 12 weeks" My husband offered, trying to add some normality to the conversation, but it was too late. Now every time i look at my baby i see a blob with a head.

It's funny, you see, i always wanted to have a baby. Before we moved i kept saying i wanted to have a baby. Now i'm, oh... 13ish weeks gone and i'm thinking 'I can't take any more morning sickness... i haven't eaten properly in days and if i fall asleep half way threw 'The weakest link' again i'm going to scream'.

i'm trying to put my friends off having babies. I don't think it's working.

Please, please, please, for the love of all things good and holy...

Don't try this at home!